The Class of Australia'07 - The Batsmen

Kumble believes he has the batsmen to take on the Aussies. Aussies will continue with their strategy of using four main bowlers to take out the opposition. Whatever Kumble believes I trust the Aussies to ensure that the main opposition threat (batting and bowling) will be neutered. If required by the high priests of modern cricket, duly certified and appointed by the ICC; otherwise known as Umpires and Match Referees. I am not proposing a conspiracy theory here for this now is an established fact. No host nation is above such tactics but only some claim to have the moral high ground on this issue. No umpires are above such mistakes but only the few anointed ones. The supporters of technology, where it is available, find voice only when the foot is on the other boot. Also such 'human errors' against touring batsmen are somehow more discussed and debated as compared to those against touring bowlers.

Be that as it is. Let me log my views about our Class of Aus'07. Will this class be able to shrug off the obvious disadvantages of a touring side and compete? Will they be able to defy the pundits, ICC rankings, form book, recent history and even common sense to complete the Mission Impossible??

Dinesh ‘ Dick’ Karthick : We need that extra pair of gloves while on tour. As an opening batsman he seems to be as adept as Sonia Gandhi is with our national language. He had to be dropped down the order and allowed to complete his fifty so that his selection for this tour could be facilitated. Poor Parthiv ‘PeePee’ Patel had it all including buttered gloves during his short reign. What he lacked now was the selectors confidence.
Weakness: Plays too many shots away from the body. Does not allow the ball to come under his head for drives.

Wasim ‘Jaffa’ Jaffer: Jaffa is doing well but not well enough. I believe that ‘lazy elegance’ will be replaced by plain and simple ‘lazy’ given the wickets in Australia and the quality of opposition. Weakness: Trifle slow and candidate for LBW. Plays the square shot a little early and stays inside the crease.

Virendra ‘Butcher’ Sehwag: When he first arrived on the cricketing stage his supporters insisted he is a Tendlya clone. After some very successful acts of butchery he was proposed to be better than the real thing. Very quickly though, it all went pear shaped for Tendlya the clone and he became Taklya the Butcher of Najafgarh. Only the Pawarful @ Board of Corrupt Commedians of India can tell us how Gautam ‘GeeGee’ Gambhir got injured and the Butcher was selected. One thing is for sure; on his day, the Butcher of Najafgarh, in spite of his 13 run average in the current domestic season, can make mincemeat of the Australian attack.
Weakness: Bats without any real footwork. Slippers will be in business if he is not LBW

Rahul ‘The Wall” Dravid: He once said that Gangools was God on the off side. This studious fellow has made batting his business and indeed treated it as such. The way he conducts his trade of choice will find parallel in the world of business. Read any of the popular management books and biographies. You will see what I mean. Today, I believe Dravid is God on the offside. Expect the opposition to target him with everything they have got including the high priests.
Weakness: He mutates and morphs into something else the moment you thing you have read his mind. Count on him to try and not repeat a mistake. Recent dominance on off side or preference opens up vulnerabilities on the leg side - tends to fall over while facing the incoming deliveries.

Sachin ‘Tendlya’ Tendulkar: He is not the same lad who impressed the Don many years ago. But he can still instill fear in the hearts of the opposition. As far as the Mumbai school of batting is concerned he seems to be our Last of the Mohicans. I wish he does well for all of us but above all for himself. The Greats need to go out with grace.
Weakness: So many runs and yet no answer to the off spin and/or the fast incutter.

Saurav ‘Gangools’ Ganguly: I was his die-hard fan once. Not anymore. But there is life in the old dog yet as Ian Bishop said and I am happy for him to do as well as he is doing now as an India supporter. I would love to see him score heavily against the Aussies. A ‘payback’ is in order for all the insults Aussies have been heaping upon us over the last decade and more. If I have to bet on any one of our team to deliver on that score and even go beyond mere settling of scores and smack Ponting’s face, it has to be Gangool’s. It cannot be disputed that he together with The Wall, Tendlya and Kumble is one of the four Aces - or the Four Musketeers if you like – of Indian cricket over the last decade. Go for it Gangools.
Weakness: God on offside? Well not really against some genuine fast bowling. Slippers and forward short leg would fancy a catch with him at the crease

VVS Lax(ative)man: Laxativeman is held in high regard by the Aussies. I have been hit by a leather ball exactly where Laxativeman was hit by Shoaib Akhtar in the Bangalore test. from my own painful memory of that day I believe the Aussies will rest easy now. I don’t expect Laxativeman to play in this series given this injury. But who knows, if an injured GeeGee can play in Bangalore test, so can Laxativeman in Australia.
Weakness: His sound technique does not discount a catch to the slips against an angled delivery coming round the wicket. And remember the elbow injury? Aussies will have noted it too and will try to exploit poor control of the bat by the top hand. Expect a few in the rib cage Laxativeman.

Phew... need some rest before I log my first thoughts on the rest of the lot!